So, it’s been over a month. I’m not sure how anyone is supposed to post when the olympics are on! I mean, come on - Curling! Luge! Skeleton! Alpine skiing! and so on. I really enjoyed the Olympics, I always do. I recall the first time I was really interested in them, which was the 1984 Olympics in LA, and then the 1988 ones in Calgary. I also find it funny that Olympics were once held in a place called “Squaw Valley”.
But what I was really interested was at the start of the Olympics, when the sudden and unexpected death of the Luge athlete. I was quite shocked by it, watched the video like everyone else, and it was really difficult to watch what happened to him. I, like many people I expect, made a comment to the effect of “At least he died doing what he loved”. This is the phrase that I despise.
Death, of course, is natural and comes to us all. (Another cliched phrase.) And I certainly understand the need to rationalize the death, to somehow make it less tragic - it sucks that he died, but at least he was happy when he died. You will often see this rationalization in the extreme athletes - or even in normal people who like some high risk activities. I recall it once when reading about a funeral of some woman in Edmonton who was killed while whitewater kayaking; there was a large photo of her at the memorial in black and white, with a look of intense determination while she was in some river somewhere. 
My understanding of this is simple: if someone must die, then at least they were happy when they were killed. See, for example, “Of Mice and Men” - George makes sure that Lenny is happy before he shoots him in the head. The death is less tragic this way. And on that level, if we have to make sense of death, then so be it.
My problem with the phrase is three fold. 1) It diminishes the deaths of people who do not die happy. 2) It assumes that people are OK with being dead, as long as they died happy. 3) We do not make that assumption for people who die happy doing socially irresponsible things.
The first point is quite simple, really. If someone dies in hospital, we don’t say “at least they died on hospital.” Had the luge athlete died a month later after being in a coma for a year, we would not look on him in the same way - because he didn’t die doing what he loved. But the net out was the same. Or someone who dies from an infection, or pneumonia - they weren’t happy, they didn’t die doing what they loved so their death is more tragic? No, it is still death, it still has the same effect on those who love them - except maybe the shock is less because the death may be more expected.
The second point implies that, if they had the option, they would choose the same path. If the luge athlete had been given the option of dying “happy” at 21, or dying much later, at, say, 81 - I suspect he would have sacrificed some happiness in exchange for a long life. Did he know the risks? Of course, but no one ever actually figures to be killed - the parachute will open, there won’t be an avalanche, they won’t lose control of the car. The reason people often participate in those types of activities is because of the implied risk with safety procedures ensuring no injury results. They wear helmets, life jackets, seat belts. Put a skydiver in a plane and tell them there is a 50% chance that their chute won’t open - you’d have a lot less people attempting it.
The third point is the one that really is where I dislike the phrase. I know many people who like to drink, for example. If they were killed while drinking and driving, we would not say at their funeral “ At least they died doing what they loved.” Or if someone overdoses on heroin - they were doing heroin because they loved the feeling, but we don’t mention that - it is just a senseless death. But why not afford them that luxury? Why does a socially irresponsible death make the death more, and not less, tragic? Or what about a person who dies of a heart attack after a lifetime eating rich foods, or a smoker dying of cancer after a lifetime of enjoying their cigarettes? They loved what they did, it caused their deaths.
So maybe a bit of a heavy topic today. But it’s been on my mind a lot. I’ll try to lighten it up for the next one. Maybe I’ll do that post I was talking about where I compare Lady Antebellum’s “Need you now” to Offspring’s “Self Esteem” and Celine Dion’s cover of “I drove all Night”.
