Oil Prices

Oil prices

Again, this is a note that may have people wondering about the relevance of the topic. But there are good arguments on both sides, I think.

High oil prices are bad: They are bad for the economy overall. The affect every facet of our lives, from how our cities and suburbs are designed and how we go on vacation to how much our bananas cost. Higher oil prices mean we pay more for fuel for our cars, heating for our homes, which gives us less disposable income. This means that not only is there a negative

microeconomic effect, in which a family feels poorer, but also a negative macroeconomic effect. This means that because we are spending more on gas, we are spending less in other stores which in turn means an eventual slowdown in the national economy. Further, it makes it even harder for businesses to compete – and offer lower prices - because most business

models are based on a price of oil being much lower than it is now. It means less cheap imports, such as clothes, fruit, and electronics. It means that the cost of the suburbs increases. It means that there are no more weekend trips to drive to Grandma’s house, and no more weekends flying to Vegas or London.

The effects of high oil prices threaten to bring even more damage to an already damaged economy. Soon the possibility of a recession will be less a possibility and more a certainty. This means more bankruptcies, more people out of work, more jobs leaving the country. There are some people who also feel that high oil prices give even more control to oil producing nations

like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Russia, and Nigeria – which some people feel is bad. Some people also worry that the high price may lead the US (or other countries) to invade countries with plentiful supplies so they can guarantee themselves a cheap supply.

The basic argument against high oil prices is that it means we spend more money on fuel, and have less money to spend elsewhere. This is compounded by the fact that we have no control over the prices; they are controlled by demand from China and India.

High oil prices are the best thing that ever happened: They are good for the economy – at least, if you happen to live in an oil exporting country, like I do. They prices lead to more money that is available to improve social situations – like, for example, in Norway. Another indirect benefit comes in the form of less damage to the environment – it is actually getting people out of their cars and onto public transit; and not taking those unnecessary trips. Instead of couriering documents, we scan and email them. All this means less pressure on the environment: we may be able to cut emissions because we have no choice. It may lead to better public transit, or more efficient vehicles.

High oil prices will force innovation. We, as westerners, have been  complacent for far too long, and have gotten used to cheap fuel, cheap transportation, cheap heat. When the “cheap” part disappears, innovative companies will develop thing that will bring that back – like a cheap

electric or hybrid car, or alternate heating for homes, or different types of gardens so that food doesn’t have to be transported so far. 

It will also change the ways that cities look. In North America, we tend to build big cities with suburbs, because we have the space for it and the cost of getting to it has been cheap. Now, fuel prices will make living in cities more attractive – if driving to work is too expensive, then living

in a downtown becomes practical. It will lead to revitalization of our cities, with more dense developments in older neighbourhoods.

What I think: I think both, as usual. I really hate paying the extra cost, and it does make me not want to do extra things, which is generally bad. But I think this is like a flu vaccine – some short term pain, maybe even negative side effects, but long term it will benefit us. That said, I don’t expect people to give up the suburbs and flock to the city on public transit while eating locally grown produce, but I think those changes will start to happen. I really hope that the high fuel prices will put a serious damper on Wal-Mart, because they rely so much on cheap imports. When the imports become more expensive, I hope their business model falls apart.  

How I relate: I think about city planning and design a lot, although I’m not involved in any of it. I live in the downtown of a city and have easy access to public transit, and this is the main reason why I use it – because it’s easy. I believe that most people are like that; they will do

stuff if it is easy, and higher oil prices will make it easier to for politicians to make changes.

As I mentioned before, I am married, and both my wife and I work. We have 1 car, which works fairly well now, but there will some changes coming that will make us re-plan some things. Fuel prices will definitely affect our lives in the next few years – where we live, if we get another a car and what kind, where we work, and how we vacation. Even how often we visit our

parents.

Whiny email, and response to it

This pretty well matches our generation. When did it all change?

This is dedicated to those Born 1930-1979!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride Down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound, CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or Rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Now that you have read this stupid email, let me break it down for you:

“This pretty well matches our generation. When did it all change? 

This is dedicated to those Born 1930-1979! TO ALL THE KIDS

WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! “

Okay, this is a very broad period. 50 years, 5 decades. From the 30’s to the seventies –this covers the pre-boomers, the early and late boomers, and gen x. Drawing comparisons for those huge demographs is ridiculous. There may be some similarities from generation to generation, but there are also huge differences as well. Put another way, we are dealing here with people

who are anywhere from 28 to 78 – as much as 4 generations. That’s just stupid. The opening line – this pretty much matches every generation. And it changed a lot over 50 years. Also, I know the author is trying to be funny, but the key word is “survived” and I’ll deal with that as we go through this.

“First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.”

This is why the infant mortality in the 30, 40s, 50’s and 60’s was so high – because people didn’t know that all that shit was bad during pregnancy.No, all infants didn’t die but a lot more did. Birth weight then was half of what it is now. And this is inaccurate anyway: there is nothing wrong with aspirin, nor in there any problem with tuna in a can. At the time, when people were taking a lot less medications, things like aspirin wouldn’t have had any effect anyway. And blue cheese dressing? That didn’t happen. The only dressing that existed were French, Italian, and 1000 island.

“Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.”

Actually, we weren’t put to sleep any particular way – at least the ones on the 30s – 60s. They were just put asleep, and they probably didn’t have cribs, it was more likely just a small bed. And they probably weren’t painted, either; that would have been too expensive. It was only in the late 60’s that it was recommended that babies be put to sleep on backs – and coincidentally, this was about the time that SIDS came into the public’s awareness. But experts always change their minds; when they do again and tell us to put babies to sleep on their fronts again, this whole section will be moot.

“We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.”

To start with, we weren’t hitchhiking when we were 5. That statement really doesn’t belong in this section. And even if it did, a lot of people never hitchhiked; those who did recognized the inherent danger; and this is when people started disappearing with alarming regularity when hitchhiking. This is why people don’t anymore. I suspect the person who wrote this doesn’t

hitchhike either. True, there were no childproof lids – and in the 30’s, pretty much nobody had any medicine at home. It wasn’t until the 60’s that people started buying lots of medicine for the home that the need for the childproof lids appeared – and they did start appearing in the 70’s. No bike helmets either, and a lot of kids had head injuries as a result. The doors and cabinets didn’t have locks because they were made of heavy wood, not crappy pressboard like now and a toddler had no hope in hell of opening one. And there was only one cleaner – bleach – and all good parents kept it way out of reach.

“As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.”

True, we would do all that stuff. And a lot more people died. It is well documented that people who were their seatbelts have a tendency to not die in car accidents. If you were riding in the back of a pickup, it was a special treat – and you can be assured that the people driving the pickup were driving slower because of the risk. The author of this email seems to think that safety precautions are a bad thing. They probably don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom either, and eat raw chicken. 

“We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.”

We still would drink water from a hose if we could find any. But it’s funny, when I’m walking down the city street, there aren’t hoses all over the place for me to grab a drink. As for sharing a soft drink from one bottle, your parents told you not to do it because it was gross, not because they thought you would die. Sometimes, parents even gave you a separate glass and you didn’t all have to drink from the same bottle. I’m pretty sure the term “backwash” has been around since the 30’s.

“We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because:”

Maybe you did, and you probably still do and have diabetes as a result. We also didn’t eat every 5 minutes, which is probably more on point. Most people I know only ate white bread and koolade (sic) because it was cheaper. So you probably weren’t overweight because you were poor. White bread and koolade (sic) were popularized in the 60’s anyway; people before that ( in the 30s – 50s) didn’t have them. Cupcakes were a treat, not a regular thing. Same with butter - it was expensive.

“WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.”

This is quite true for some people. But what is ignored in this statement is anybody who lived in a city. Since Canada/US (I suspect the writer is American) was largely rural until the 70’s, this would be true – because when you live in a town of 2000, everyone knows who you are, where you live, and strangers are beaten as soon as the get to the town limits. This is still true in the rural parts of the country as well as some isolated suburbs. And even if it was true, parents didn’t give kids absolute freedom – they still has to check with their parents, and they only got to stay out until dark when they reached 10 or 11. Somehow, I think there might be an issue for City dwellers letting their kids disappear in a city of 1 million for 12 hours.

“No one was able to reach us all day.”

So if something did happen to you, the person who snatched you would have a day’s lead. Or that well you fell in would fill with rats.

“And we were O.K.”

Obviously, if you wrote this. But a lot weren’t.

“We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.”

Did anybody actually build a go cart? Maybe 5 % of boys did. Now, they learn that if the DVD player is not working to check if it is plugged in.

“We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound, CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!”

No, we just had comic books and board games and Pong and Atari and arcades and regular phones and TV with 2 channels that we watched for hours anyways and picture disks and radio and records and tapes and 8 tracks and movie theatres and pool halls and regular books. What does this writer think that the internet and chat rooms and cell phones are for? And not every kid had friends; if you were one of the ones who didn’t fit in to your town, then you pretty much stayed inside. And if you did fit in, you made fun of the ones who didn’t; thus making them more isolated. Or if you had any disability, then you pretty much had no life ever. This author is complaining about internet and PCs, but they sent this message out on email. The irony, I trust, was lost on them. 

“We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.”

Actually, read some law reports. Lawsuits have been around pretty much since the lawyers crawled out of the muck. If your parents were too dumb to file a lawsuit when you fell out of the loft of that barn you broke into, too bad for you. You could be rich instead of writing whiny emails. There were less lawsuits, of course; back then a company could put whatever they

wanted into the water or air or ground and not worry about having to be responsible for any damages is might cause. What a bit of carcinogens anyway? Want to buy a house in Love Canal? And if a dog got loose and mauled you, the owner would never face any charges – too bad about the 30 rabies shots you had to get.

“We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.”

Why would you eat worms and mud pies? You were one messed up kid. Your parents told you not to do that because it is gross. Do you still eat worms and mud pies? If not, why not? Do you serve mud pies and worms when people come over? Obviously you think it is tasty. And why did you specify “mud pies made from dirt”? That’s not a complete recipe. You forgot the water.

“We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.”

Only some kids were given BB guns. Most of the kids I knew didn’t get them; and some still so. Some even get real 22’s – isn’t that better? Maybe we should start giving them AK47’s like they do in certain war torn countries. There’s not enough violence as it is, and a BB can’t even kill a cat. Sticks and tennis balls? Not if you had a BB gun. And kids still play games with sticks and tennis balls. The kids from the 30’s and 40’s only had sticks, though; tennis wasn’t popularized really until the 60’s. And as long as we only put a few eyes; we all had 2 anyway, and we can all afford to lose some.

“We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or Rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!”

OK. And? Kids today still do. Or they call them to find our if they are home first. Maybe your kids are just pathetic.

“Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!”

Most Little Leagues still do. And even back then, for the younger kids, it was always everyone gets in. Look at the movie “The Bad News Bears” for example. All schools have tryouts for their teams, and they will inevitably create “a” and “b” teams. Everyone knows that the “a” team is the real team.

“The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!”

Only because they couldn’t afford a lawyer. And most parents I know now have no problem leaving their kids in jail overnight. So you don’t side with the law, then, and would never bail you kids out. Your kids will be happy to know that they can count on you for support. 

“These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.”

Of course, none are named. Inventors like the ones whom invented the cell phone, the I pod, CD’s, cable, nintendos? Those kind of inventors? Or risk takers like lawyers that sue for negligence? And risk takers like the ones who made bungee jumping and skydiving normal? Or risk takers who send out unsigned bitchy emails? Or organized crime leaders? And now its “these generations” not “our generation”. Realized the error a bit late, I think.

“We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!”

No other generation has had that of course. Unique to those born from the 30s to the 70’s. People born in the 20’s never had to go to war in the 40’s; and people born in the 80’s don’t create new products all the time. Screw everyone else in the world before or after that. It’s not like airplanes or cars or engineering existed before the 30’s. And we learned how to deal with it so well, we send out bitchy emails to complain about it.

“If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!” 

Thanks. Can’t really critize being congratulated for having a fortuitous birthday. Pat self on back.

“You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.”

I had the luck to grow up as a kid, into an adult. Now which generation were the lawyers and government reps from? Oh right, they were born from the 30’s to 70’s. And really, what regulation? What in this email can’t you still do? Eat worms? Let your kids run around unsupervised from dawn til dusk? Side with the law? Give your kid a BB gun? Drive around without a seatbelt and your kids in the back of the truck? Eat cupcakes and drink water from a hose? Get over yourself.

“And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.”

What? Kids today won’t consider their parents to be lucky or brave, just like we didn’t, and our parents didn’t, and so on. They might wonder how we managed to live past 5 at all.

“Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!”

No. That’s just stupid. And when you fall on them because you are old and weak, I’d give you some pills but I can’t get the childproof caps off. I hope a mud pie made with dirt will cure you.

These are the good old days

You may recognize the title of this entry from some old song. It’s not mine, that’s for sure, and I don’t claim it. But there are a couple of point of view on the type of world we live in now – either things are better than ever, worse than ever, or the same as ever. I’ll try to present

a couple if these sides and we’ll see. I’ll keep in format for this entry, but my next entry will just be an expansion of this topic in the form of a response to an email I received.

Things are better than ever – You only have to look at statistics to see that we are better off (in the western world) than ever before. We live longer, have more wealth and material things, are in better overall health, infant mortality is down, we are more educated; the list goes on. In every category, we are better off, in leaps and bounds, than our parents; our parents were better off than our grandparents, and so on. Science and society has made us better off than ever before.

Not only in those categories, but we also have instant communication; we have shrunk the world so we can get to pretty much anywhere in 24 hours maximum. We are a global society – there is no more cold war threatening to destroy the world. We have better access now to cultures from all over the world, and we are friends with people that even 30 years ago we never would have considered sharing a bus with. Women rights have advanced tremendously, as have minority right. There are virtually no lynchings, sexual harassment, or anything like that anymore. Sure , we can be better – things like racism and sexism still exist – but generally, things are miles better than before.

Things now really suck – Maybe we live longer, but the quality of life is horrible. We never have a free minute – our work can always get a hold of us. We are also getting obese, much fatter than the previous generations were. Maybe we have more wealth, but everything is so much more expensive than it ever has been before. I remember when a freezie cost 5 cents. And

what’s going on with all these kidnappings, murders, pedophiles – they were never around when we were young. We don’t even feel safe letting our kids walk to school. The internet just brings all the perverts out and makes them feel normal.

And people now are so rude! The streets are noisy, no one ever says please or thank you, no one helps anyone anymore. Plus the language that people use! There is no such thing as obscenity, and people spit in the streets. Clerks at stores don’t even get off their cell phones to ring in your order. And drivers will cut you off and then give you the finger.

Maybe we have better communication, but we don’t communicate! 

What I think: I think that - surprise – the answer is somewhere in the middle. A lot of what people think about good or bad times is based on faulty perception. I think that we are better off in terms of health and education, but in terms of quality of life – I think we suffer a bit. Crime I know is down, but I don’t think that people are any ruder than before. I don’t really think that society is better or worse; we live in a more complex world, but that is all. Most importantly, though, is that the western world is better off in terms of life and health.

How I relate: I hear a lot of people complaining about how great things used to be, and I think that they are just suffering from selective memory. They are usually talking about rudeness, I find. When people complain about rudeness – most famously in Lynne Truss’s book, “Talk to the Hand” I don’t think that they consider how society has changed with the shapes of cities.

For example, when you only had your corner store to go to, of course the shopkeeper was polite to you, because you knew him/her and they knew you.  But when you move to an urban environment and you do your shopping at a massive supermarket where you’ll likely never see any of the staff again, they have no reason to be polite to you – and you to them. Another

important thing to consider is that we had institutionalized rudeness – in such forms as Jim Crow laws, segregation of neighbourhoods, and gendered division of labour. It wouldn’t have been “rude” 50 years ago to not acknowledge a person of a different race in your store, for example. 

Marriage

Marriage

Nope, not gay marriage – that will be a later post. This is just

about marriage in general – and should you get married? And 

for the purpose of this entry, we will assume we are only 

talking about heterosexual marriage; but most, not all, 

observations could apply to homosexual marriage as well.

Take the plunge. Get Married!! –

Marriage is the ultimate expression of love in our society.

That is happens to be sanctioned by organized religion is incidental; 

it is about two people who love each other and presumably want 

to reproduce. A public declaration of love also makes it easier

on you – you can start introducing them as a husband or 

wife, instead of the awkward “boyfriend”, “girlfriend”, “spouse” 

or “partner”. If you’re female in the western world, it’s what you

 are supposed to want – and admit it, you do! I mean, 8000

wedding magazines and 50000 wedding sites can’t be wrong.

For a woman, it’s her day. Maybe there are other good days, 

but this one is all yours. And you’re allowed to be a bitch 

leading up to it. You can complain, gripe, be picky, and 

bemoan whatever you want, because it is all about you! 

And you’re entitled. Whatever might come after or has happened

before, this is the one day where all eyes are on you. You may

never be a real princess, but today you feel like one.

And according to some people, you never have to give head again.

For a man, it’s the ultimate expression of love. You want 

to make your girlfriend happy, and this will do it. There’s

all the fringe benefits, too: the honeymoon, the big party

in your honour (and the bachelor party), people stop asking

when you are going to make her an honest woman, you give

more of an appearance of being stable, which makes you a 

better employee, somehow.

And, you can get laid whenever you want.

Some other reasons: people who have been divorced still get 

married again – if they keep on doing it, there must be 

something to it. There are religious reasons and family 

reasons. And once people are married, they tend to try 

harder to work their problems out than if they are not. And if

you are with someone and have kids, it will be easier on 

them; to explain to their friends that mom and dad have 

different last names, and they just live together is harder 

to explain that just saying “that’s mom and Dad.”

Your parents probably got married, and you turned out fine,

didn’t you?

It’s just a meaningless social convention. Don’t bother!! –

Just because society tells you to do something, why do you

have to? If society jumped of a bridge, would you? You don’t

need a piece of paper to tell the person you love how you feel

about them. And as for the rest of the world, it’s none 

of their business. We have separate bank accounts, separate 

names, separate jobs. And if we get married, we have to go 

through the whole name change thing, which is just a pain 

in the ass.

And look at the divorce rate! We have a 50-50 shot at best. 

And if things aren’t working, I want to be able to leave quickly,

 I don’t want to have to go to court and all that shit. Why 

should I stay and work at something that won’t work? 

Marriage is just a de beers creation anyways; or at best it’s a

religious convention designed to keep women from owning 

property. A wedding itself is a lousy way to start off a life

together – with an overpriced party that you are too tired 

to even enjoy, and will cause so many fight that you’ll be

lucky to get to the honeymoon. The money that you spend on

that navel gazing gift grab could be better spent on your 

new house or paying down bills or donating it to charity!

And what does marriage mean, exactly? Nothing, really. 

It means that you can afford to get married; or that you 

cave to pressure from your parents or fiancé or society 

or whatever. If you love the person, why would getting

married change anything? And if it does, what does that 

say about you? How many men have lousy sex lives after

 they get married? And how many women have partners

 who just stop trying after they take the plunge?

Besides, your parents both married at least twice, and

each marriage screwed you up more that their last one. 

Maybe if there was a good example somewhere, it wouldn’t

be such a negative thing.

Kids don’t even enter into the equation. They can figure

out who mom and dad are – last names don’t really 

mean anything. Besides, a lot of people don’t even change

 their names anymore.

Where I stand:

I think – ha ha – that it really is up to the individual and

the individual couple. The divorce rate has stayed the same for the last 20 years, hovering around 50%. And this is all marriages, so you have to figure that some are getting married and divorced again. I do think that a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons; for example, there are still people who get married when the woman gets knocked up, or because their

parents want them to. If one position is very important to the one person, and the other person is ambivalent, then they should go along with the first person. If both are ambivalent about the issue, then they should only get married for superficial reasons. I do tend to think that it is a

somewhat archaic tradition, but then I see that the marriage rate is higher than ever (90% + of the population) and the divorce rate is steady, so maybe it’s not so archaic.

How I relate:

I’m married; have been for 7 years. My parents have been married for 30 plus; my grandparents were always married. My aunts and uncles – some were married and some were “common-law” – and it was the both one of the married ones and one of the common-law ones that split up. My wife and I have different last names – I don’t really care about it, and it was just easier not to change them. I’ve seen both the really good and the really bad, so I don’t think that there is a “right” thing to do – but all reasons for and against it are valid. I am surprised, though, that so many of the gender roles in a loot of marriages have stayed the same. I think that if the gender roles were more interchangeable, less people would want to get married. Just an opinion.