Which brings me to today’s topic. I have been listening to the Lady Antebellum song, “Need you Now” quite often lately - not necessarily because I want to, but it is on the radio all the time. What I have noticed about it is the connection between it and The Offspring song, “Self Esteem”. I did get a small connection to the song “ I drove all Night” but that was much more fragile than the other connection.
So I will assume 2 things: you have heard the songs I mention and are familiar with the lyrics, tempo, genre, etc; or you have google and can look them up. I won’t bother posting the lyrics here because it is not really necessary, but I will post partial lyrics to compare and contrast them.
So a couple comments about the bands first, focussing on the LA / TO. Lady Antebellum is basically new country or soft rock, depending on your preference. Most people prefer the country label. Offspring came to fame in the post grunge punk Socal rock scene - which is a long way of saying they are your basic harder rock band. Both bands are characterized by a certain degree of popularity outside of their core audiences - that is to say, Lady Antebellum is on more than the country stations, and Offspring is on more than the hard rock stations. Part of their appeal is, no doubt, the universality of the themes in their music. Musically, both groups are capable; while styles and tastes are different, the bands know how to play their instruments and the singers can sing.
Some of the differences between the groups are what you may expect - LA has a female lead singer; the musical focus is more on her voice than on the lyrics. TO has a male lead singer, the focus is more on the lyrics than whether the singer can hit the right notes. (An aside - I probably won’t use the band members actual names here - it’s not like I actually know them.) LA is slower, more ballad-y, TO is faster and more angry-y. LA appeals mainly to 18-35 female set, TO appeals mainly to the 18-35 male set. So some differences, some similarities.
Now to the two songs. NYN is a post breakup song, written in the first person. The singer laments their loneliness, and the feeling that, after a few drinks, they want to call up their ex and see them again. There is no background to the song - why did they break up, how long has it been, the age of the people involved. Because it is sung by a woman, we assume the person who is hurt and lonely is female - but that is an assumption only because it was written first person - it refers only to “I” and “You”. The song itself appeals mostly to women; read a few comments on the song and you will find something along the lines of “sigh - been there - know how she feels - don’t want to call but want to”. Stuff like that. It is worth noting that alcohol is a catalyst in the person’s loneliness. The alcohol both fortifies the person’s resolve and also increases the pain. The song gives no conclusion - does the ex come over or not? We are left with the feeling that the person has the phone in their hand, drunkenly crying and waiting for a response.
SE is an “I want to breakup” song. Since the song is sung by a male, we assume a male female relationship - certainly the song, while written in the first person, refers to “her” and “she” s the other in the relationship. Could be a lesbian couple, but pretty unlikely, although not specifically excluded. The song appears to be the singer telling a story about himself to a friend - man, i want to dump her, I have all the right reasons too, but I just can’t. The person is not looking for advice, as the course of action is clear; maybe he is looking for reassurance. Most people who know this song find it amusing, quotable, and funny. Some sympathy is felt for the person, but not much - more like we sadly laugh at him. Alcohol plays a part in this song as well. This song also gives no conclusion, but we are left with the impression that he won’t break up with her because he just won’t.
Both songs have some strong references to sex in them; the nature of country pop excludes direct reference to so it puts it the term “ Need you Now”. It does not say directly “I want to have sex with you right now because I am lonely” but it says in code. Part of the reason for this is that country music does not allow women to want sex but only love - the woman doesn’t want to cum, she want to feel loved. This is exactly the opposite is SE. The man knows he will get laid and this, to him, is worth the pain she otherwise causes him. He knows that this sex is no good for him - he, actually, just wants to be loved as well, but the nature of pop-punk excludes that option for men.
The references to alcohol in both songs are about the women. In NYN it is “ I’m a little Drunk and I need you now”. In SE it is “ She’s drunk again, and looking to score”. These lines, held against each other, reveal an interesting female/male perspective. The alcohol gives the woman enough courage to call her ex while increasing her pain; while the man interprets her as just being drunk and waiting to get laid.
In both songs, the pain felt by the principals is similar - but one is presented as a “poor her, she’s so alone” and the other is presented as “ha ha, he’s afraid to be alone”. This is interesting because it reinforces, reflects, or both, how relationships are supposed to be viewed by men and women. In NYN, the woman is supposed to feel hurt because she is alone, and we are supposed to empathize with her. In SE, the man is supposed to not feel anything, but because he does we laugh at him. He justifies his hurt by saying he has no self esteem, because that somehow makes his hurt OK. Basically NYN says “ I am woman, see me cry” while SE says “I’m less of a man because I cry”.
These songs have absolutely nothing to do with each other. They were written at different times for different core audiences; one was meant to be a serious heartfelt ballad and the other a fast song that makes us laugh because we know someone like that. But take the songs as two people talking about the same thing - maybe change the way you look at both songs.
PostScript.
The connection to “ I drove all night” was really kind of weak. Basically, it took place at night and involved sex. No alcohol mentioned, no breakups, nothing. Just nightime sex.
Maybe next time I will write about “ Bohemian Rhapsody” and “The Black Parade”.
