What do I call you again?

Well, it's been over a month since I posted. I do have an excuse; and it goes back to a previous post about home ownership. My spouse and I have purchased a property, one unit of a four plex. It is lofty and pretty much exactly what we were looking for; and we didn't expect to find it. But that completely destroys my even more pathetic goal of 4 posts a month, and almost kills my 3 posts a month average as well. Maybe I can bring it back up, but I don't think so. This post is more of just a "get back into it" post, and so the post is going to be kind of weak. In fact, it is going to be about the terms for "significant others". 

I'll call you whatever I want: The term that people use to refer to their significant others is irrelevant. What is important is how they feel about each other, and what they want to be called. If a woman wants to be called "wife" and the other is OK with it, then that's what it should be - even if they aren't legally married. And everyone else should go along with their wishes, as well; especially if they are friends, then they will go a long with it. 

The same applies for all terms of this nature: spouse, significant other, common law husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, better half, whatever. And this is applicable for same sex as much as opposite sex. Because the law now recognizes same sex relationships as well as common law ones, the designation should now be up to the couple. 

And lest you think this is unromantic, then just remember: there is nothing more romantic than addressing your spouse with a term of endearment that they like. 

Stick to the definition, please: Every single term has a specific meaning and a specific use. A husband is not the same as a boyfriend; a spouse is not the same as a partner. For better or worse, the words have different things attached to them - sometimes in terms of power, sometimes not (that is, a spouse is not necessarily equal, but a partner is). So each term should be used in the correct context; anything else is just going to confuse friends, third parties, and even the people involved. 

This is even more pronounced when you talk about legalities. The law may recognize same sex couples and common law couples, but it doesn't yet, in all places, recognize them on equal footing as a spouse. With this in mind, the terms used should match the legal terms. If you have been living together in a committed relationship for 10 years, call them your "common law spouse" not wife or husband. 

And maybe this isn't romantic, but it is the way the world is. And sometimes the world isn't romantic. 

What I think: I don't like some of the terms, because they are not very good descriptors. A spouse is clear; a partner is not. If you are 15, a boyfriend/girlfriend is clear; going out is clear. Teens may be confused, but they do have their labeling down pretty good. I think the only terms that should exist are husband/wife and spouse. It clearly defines the relationship, and if you have to put in qualifiers, fine (such as ex wife, common law spouse, or open relationship husband) but it makes things much clearer to just use the same terms that are as close to the legal ones as possible. And same sex couples should be entitled to use the same ones as well; two husbands or two wives in a relationship is fine with me. 

How I relate: I have to admit that when I got married, things did become easier. And I don't support the terms just because of ease of use, but it doesn't hurt, either. Some terms have always bothered me - partner, for example, seems too antiseptic; like the people don't want the true nature of their relationship coming out. I'm not saying you should use terms like "This is my bed buddy" but clarity is always a good thing. Even if only in the small things. 

See, that was kind of a cop out post. I've had a few good ideas for posts, such as whether or not parents should let their teens drink at home; if nationalism is a good thing or bad thing; if culture is real or just an excuse to do shitty things to other culture or if culture even exists in this global society.  But we'll see where the day takes me.