Rereading one of my posts from a few weeks ago, a found my reference to parents who allow their teens to consume alcohol in their homes. That seemed like a good one to talk about, because i think it is an interesting topic. I was waffling about this one (hey, that would be a good post - what's better, waffles or pancakes?) and was actually thinking of posting something on the CFL vs the NFL, but I really wouldn't be able to be unbiased about that. The CFL is dramatically better. For many reasons.
If they get drunk, I'm getting drunk with them: The first point of all this is that parents are generally responsible. Not all, of course; but most. And most parents don't want bad things to happen to their kids. So if they feel that they can help keep their kids safe by allowing them to drink at home, then they should be allowed to. Ultimately, if anything does happen to their kids, the parents will not only feel horrible for all the usual reasons, but also will feel responsible.
Property rights have a bit to do with this as well. Generally, people are allowed to do things on their own private property that they would not be allowed to do on public land or other person's property. For example, a parent could let a child drive a vehicle on their own property; This could be dangerous to many people, but is still legally acceptable (if not always socially acceptable). Consent is also a legitimate concern here: parents can consent for their kids to undergo dangerous surgery, for example; or sign them up for potentially dangerous sports - so they can certainly give their kids consent for something like drinking.
The most popular argument for allowing parents to do this is twofold: they are going to do it anyway; and we did when we were young, so why should we deny our kids what we took for granted? Both parts are valid, and don't really need much elaboration.
Do as I say, not as I did: The last part of the argument above is the easiest to refute. Times change. We used to not wear seatbelts as well, but now we make our kids do that. And maybe they won't do it anyways. If teenagers don't have a place to drink, then maybe they won't. Tacitly encouraging them to drink by giving them the means is counterproductive to both the individual and society in general.
Property rights are not absolute. Yes, you do have control over your property, but that does not give you the right to break the law on it. Law enforcement looking the other way is not the same as being allowed to do something. Comparing teenage drinking to teenager sports is actually insulting - one is in a very controlled environment, the other, by the nature of it, is uncontrollable. A parent can't - and shouldn't - willfully put their kids at risk.
Parents are actually not that responsible. Often that's how they became parents in the first place. Being a parent does not automatically make a person responsible, and the fact that a parent would allow their teenage children to drink clearly is a sign that they are not responsible. That is precisely why we have laws - because people are not responsible unless we, as a society, force them to be.
What I think: I really like the rule of law. But I also think that it is far safer for teenagers to drink in a controlled environment. The fact that alcohol exist means that we have to accept the consequences of it's existence; the fact that we culturally and socially encourage everyone to drink means that we need to have safeguards in place to minimize the damage. So I think that if parents want to host parties for their kids to drink in a safe place, then so be it - let them. And if other parents want to allow their kids to go to those parties, then also so be it. I don't think that anyone should be allowed to complain about them unless they do not allow their kids to attend and they do anyway. To clarify that last point: parent A should not be allowed to file a complaint about parent B hosting / allowing a party, unless parent A's kids attended without their consent. That satisfies my need for the rule of law as well as the need for a safe environment.
How I relate: I spent many a drunken teenage night in the party room at our apartment building. I don't expect Dad and Mom knew exactly how much we drank there - if they did they might have been less accommodating - but they did know we drank, and they let it do on because it was safer for us. Our friends: they never told their parents, I am certain of that. Had that situation taken place now, in the US, my parents would have been at considerable risk. So that I am in favour of something that I experienced is not really a stretch. And a caveat I always attach: I don't have kids. I know many people who forget pretty much everything they learned growing up once they have their own; so my own view is coloured by that.
I haven't had a post about movies, books, or songs in a while. Maybe I should in that direction. Maybe something about sequels. Or Waffles.
1 comment:
first off - waffles.
second - CFL, hands down.
Third - here's my thought.
I know what I did & didn't do, so first thing in my mind is to explain what drinking does, how it impares, and why I drink. Honestly, I think educating your children on how to socially drink isn't horrid or irresponsible. Teaching them about beer bongs, different story.
To add to that, I would much rather have a place where my daughters felt they could hang out, and where I could somewhat keep abs on them. I know not everywhere is "safe", but in *my* experience, nothing terrible happened when i went to a controlled, indoor party. Like your place (so much fun!). However, when I was say, out at the lake, I was put at risk and it was very damaging to say the least. I don't want that specific risk for my kids.
Having said that: i don't see kids choosing to stay in either venue, solidly anyway. They will go to what seems like more fun. So I know that they very well may go to the lake, and that's something you can't control (well, you can, but pretty sure those methods end in teen pregnancy from acting out.. no statistical evidence, just a life observation).
I want to have a home where they hang out in the majority of the time though. I didn't actually drink all that much in high school. When I did, it was a specific occassion, and usually in a well lit, parents are around somewhere environment. And those are the times in highschool that i remember with the most fondness, because they were with a group of actual friends, not every damn person in town. that, makes for way too much chaos.
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